she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize