Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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