Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize