I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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