he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
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Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I need to calm my uterus...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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