It's Friday. Sex?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
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I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
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I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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