I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
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he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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