I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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