I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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