Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
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He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize