Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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