Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts

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(914): Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts http://tfl.nu/cnqz

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Is my tampon string too long for this dress?

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(709): Is my tampon string too long for this dress? http://tfl.nu/pjcs

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.

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(570): Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage. http://tfl.nu/7s6f

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night

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(262): some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night http://tfl.nu/wjmk

Replies (7) Good night (5203) Bad night (681)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.

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(573): I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot. http://tfl.nu/yflo

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(309): View more from Illinois

don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.

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(309): don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia. http://tfl.nu/2ibq

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"

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(814): All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories" http://tfl.nu/dbqw

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(917): View more from New York City

every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.

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(917): every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate. http://tfl.nu/13a6

Replies (16) Good night (3748) Bad night (734)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.

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(502): The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him. http://tfl.nu/w8du

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.

(512): View more from Texas

That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?

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(508): I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur. (512): That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot? http://tfl.nu/yofn

Replies (10) Good night (2678) Bad night (501)
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(681): View more from West Virginia

Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.

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(681): Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no. http://tfl.nu/cmwe

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .

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(304): I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved . http://tfl.nu/02ua

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.

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(202): Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship. http://tfl.nu/usel

Replies (13) Good night (393) Bad night (2136)
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(660): View more from Missouri

hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?

(816): View more from Missouri

yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward

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(660): hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv? (816): yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward http://tfl.nu/dn5c

Replies (12) Good night (1188) Bad night (184)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me

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(228): Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me http://tfl.nu/rhlr

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