the condom got lost in my hair
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize