Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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