Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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