He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
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I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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