the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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