He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
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She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
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All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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