if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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