My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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