My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
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He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
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we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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