So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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