this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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