He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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