he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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