I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize