He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
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he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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