It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
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The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
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Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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