idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
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He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Also, beer. Big fan.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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