WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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