peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize