everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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