So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
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Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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