i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
40s are totally the cure
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize