Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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