Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So vagazzling was a success
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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