This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize