girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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