That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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