i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
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You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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