I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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