so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
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There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
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Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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