I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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