why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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