This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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