Non-Jews are for practice
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
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You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
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Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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