Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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