I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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