So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize