...so i touched it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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